


Worthy Of Love

by JoHalloway



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, No Beta read we die like men, Non explicit rough sex, Rough Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, its consensual but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoHalloway/pseuds/JoHalloway
Summary: “Wait Beej, no! Don’t! It’s not like that!”BJ loosened his grip on the soldier and turned to Hawkeye, wide eyed.“Hawk, what-?”Hawkeye shifted uncomfortably. “Beej, it’s not what you think. You need to go back to the Swamp. Now.”
Relationships: B. J. Hunnicutt/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	Worthy Of Love

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe this fucking hurt fest stemmed from a joke about Hawkeye being the camp bike.

He needed some air. 

Rosie’s bar had become so loud and overcrowded in the past few minutes, and BJ had taken it as a sign that it was time to leave. He glanced over towards the door. A couple of sergeants had broken out into a fight, so that exit was off. As the crowd began to gather around the two, BJ crept through the back and into the cool night air. 

He took in a deep breathe and gazed up at the stars. _It’s almost... pretty,_ he thought. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud moaning and grunting coming from the hut a few yards away. A series of degrading names followed. _Geez_. BJ just shook his head and turned to head back to camp. Whatever guys and business girls got up to was none of his- 

“Please,” a familiar, broken voice whined. 

BJ stopped dead in his tracks. _Hawkeye?!_ Fear suddenly trickled down his spine and BJ made a beeline for the hut, barging in without warning. 

The scene before him made his heart stop for a moment. Hawkeye was an absolute mess, sprawled out on the ground and being ravished by three enlisted men BJ didn’t recognize. He was covered in a smattering of bruises. Some looked like hickeys. Others, like the ones by his wrists and neck, were in the shape of fingerprints. 

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE-“ 

The three men scrambled away from Hawkeye, who hurriedly tried to cover himself. BJ stormed in and grabbed one of the guys by his collar. 

“Wait Beej, no! Don’t! It’s not like that!” 

BJ loosened his grip on the soldier and turned to Hawkeye, wide eyed. 

“Hawk, what-?” 

Hawkeye shifted uncomfortably. “Beej, it’s not what you think. You need to go back to the Swamp. _Now_ ,” he said. BJ scoffed, but let go of the soldier. As he made his way to the door, he turned back again to Hawkeye. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I was until I got interrupted! I’m fine, BJ!” 

And with that, BJ reluctantly left the four behind to continue. 

When Hawkeye limped into the swamp a half hour later, it was dark. At least, it was until BJ switched on his lamp. 

“Will you turn that damn thing off,” Hawkeye hissed. “You’re going to wake up Frank.” 

“He’s been out cold for hours” BJ replied. “Took something to knock him out.” He was quiet for a moment before quietly asking, “Hawk?” 

“Beej, common. Do we have to do this now? I’m tired,” Hawkeye whispered, crawling into his cot. BJ just got out of his own cot and tiptoed over to Hawkeye, kneeling beside him so they were eye level. “You just scared me, is all. The _things_ those guys were calling you. The way they were treating you. It was borderline _violent_.” 

Hawkeye leaned up on one arm and looked BJ in the eyes. “Beej. I _promise_ you it’s not like that. I like being roughed up. I _need_ it.” A smirk sprawled across his face. “I guess you could say I’m a sort of local repository for-“ 

“Hawkeye _stop_ ,” BJ choked. He had tears threatening to spill now. Hawkeye dropped the smile. “Listen. I’d rather be the one soldiers take their aggression out on than those poor business girls. I can handle it.“ 

BJ gently brushed the mop of bangs away from Hawkeye’s forehead. “You deserve to be _loved_ , not _used_.” Hawkeye immediately pulled back, eyes widening like a spooked animal. “Don’t. Please don’t say that.” 

“Why? Don’t you believe me?!” 

Hawkeye refused to meet his eye. His bottomed lip had began to tremble. 

“No,” he breathed. 

BJ felt like his heart was about to shatter. How could he think so poorly of himself? “Hawk, please look at me.” He cupped Hawkeye’s cheek to guide his face back towards him. 

“You, Benjamin Franklin Pierce, are the most amazing man I have ever had the honor of knowing-“ 

“Beej-” Hawkeye sobbed. 

“Let me finish. You are worthy of love. And it’s killing me to see you think you deserve anything less.” 

Hawkeye was openly crying now. He wouldn’t stop shaking his head, and flinched as if BJ’s words where burning him. “I don’t, I don’t-“ 

“But you do! Why can’t you see how much you are loved!” 

Hawkeye hiccuped. “Please stop lying to me. It hurts. Hurts more than what all the other guys do.” BJ pulled him into a hug, cradling his head while he wailed and trembled. 

“I’m not lying. I would never- I love you, Hawkeye.” He felt Hawkeye’s grip on his shirt tighten and the shaking grow harder. “Don’t deserve-“ came a mumble. 

“Cut it out, will you?” There was no harshness in his tone, only sorrow. He gently planted a kiss on top of Hawkeye’s head and began to rub his back. 

The convulsing died down after a few minutes, but Hawkeye only clung to BJ tighter. 

“It’s okay,” BJ reassured him. “I’m not going anywhere. Scoot over.” He crawled into Hawkeye’s cot and the two shifted so Hawkeye lay partially on top of him, face still burrowed in his chest. 

“I mean it, Hawk. I love you.” 

There was a beat, and BJ feared Hawkeye might spiral again, but there only came a small “I love you too,” whispered into the darkness. 


End file.
